Walt Disney Presents: Stalag 13
by Fear-Of-The-Cold
Summary: What if the characters spontaneously broke out into song, Disney style?


_Note: I don't own the song or the characters. Do you know which movie the song is from? Hope you enjoy it, I might do more if I can find more songs that work. Please R & R!_

"Raus, Raus!"

"Keep your lederhosen on Schultzie, we're coming!" Newkirk yelled back, rolling out of bed as he did so.

The other men of Barracks Two began to slowly pull themselves out of sleep, pulling on uniforms and jackets in between yawns. Carter threw his feet over the edge of his bunk, but in his sleep-ridden state misjudged the force needed and managed to throw the rest of his body over as well. The rest of the men chuckled in a way that suggested that this had happened more than once. LeBeau came over to help Carter up before heading out the door. Carter quickly pulled on his jacket before scurrying to follow the others out the door.

Colonel Hogan was the last one out the door, moving to stand in line next to Newkirk. When he was in his place, Schultz moved between the men, counting as he went. None of the men were even awake enough to try to tease him, and Schultz finished in record time. He was delighted, because for once the correct number of men were here, and, even more shocking, they were all the men that they were supposed to be.

The Kommandant suddenly bustled out of his quarters, heading hurriedly towards the waiting men. For once the weather was decent, but Colonel Klink didn't look like he had time for a speech today. Some of the men sighed with relief when they saw his harried appearance. They knew what they had to do today, and that was bad enough without having to listen to another speech about the glorious Third Reich. Instead Klink stopped in front of the men, returning Schultz's salute.

"Report!" Klink called.

"Herr Kommandant, all prisoners present and accounted for!"

"Very good Schultz. Now Hogan, I'm sure you remember that your men volunteered to fix holes on the Hammelburg Road today. I expect you to be ready in twenty minutes. Schultz, you can organize the guards. Dismissed!"

Klink turned to go, but the sound of Hogan's voice stopped him.

"Now wait a second Kommandant," the American Colonel said confidently, "We didn't promise to fix the road for nothing, as I'm sure you'll remember."

"Yes, yes," the Kommandant waved him off, "You can have your dancing contest. Now dismissed Hogan!"

Hogan saluted, and Schultz dismissed the rest of the men. They headed back to the barracks to grab a quick cup of coffee before they had to head out. The mood in the barracks was of sullen resignation. Things around Stalag 13 had been slow lately, with barely any missions from London and nothing from the Underground. This dancing contest had been Hogan's idea to help raise morale a little, but unfortunately Klink wouldn't let them have something for nothing.

LeBeau poured coffee, passing mugs around the room. The men sipped the hot drink in silence, miserably contemplating the labour that awaited them.

"Come on guys," Hogan entreated them, "Think about the dancing later! Maybe we can even get Schultz to join in."

"Not if we want to let more than one couple on the dance floor at a time," Kinch chuckled drily.

"Let's face it Colonel," Newkirk said gloomily, "Dancing's just not the same without a bird to do it with."

"Oui," agreed LeBeau, "A girl is just what we would need! Instead of just dancing with each other."

"Again!" Carter chimed in.

"All right, I get it," Hogan gave in, "But it has to be better than sitting around the barracks doing nothing."

"Well it would be," Kinch answered slowly.

"If we didn't 'ave to go out and fill 'oles in order to do it," finished Newkirk.

Hogan sighed. These guys just seemed absolutely determined to be miserable, and nothing he did would change it. He suspected that there was something else bothering them that they weren't mentioning, but it couldn't be that important or they would have said something. Besides, what could be bothering all of them at the same time?

Just then Schultz bustled through the barracks door, gathering the work detail. The men dragged their feet, but followed him out the door and fell into formation. Hogan went into his office, he wasn't going on this detail as they had nothing planned except the actual work itself. And he was hoping that giving the men some distance would allow them pull themselves out of their doldrums.

Meanwhile the men outside fell into step with Schultz, following him out the gate and along the road. They marched at an easy pace.

LeBeau looked around at his comrades. They all had a downwards turn to their faces, and he thought he knew why. He was French, he couldn't help but notice these things.

"_For a long time we've been marching off to battle_," LeBeau began singing out loud, ignoring the looks he received from some of the others, "_In our thund'ring herd we feel a lot like cattle_."

But LeBeau's head turned when Kinch joined in with him.

"_Like the pounding beat our aching feet aren't easy to ignore_," Kinch smiled as he sang.

"_Hey, think of instead a girl worth fighting for_," LeBeau added, holding the last note as everyone turned to look at him.

"_Huh?_" asked Newkirk, confused but interested.

"_That's what I said_," LeBeau nodded at him.

"_A girl worth fighting for_!" Carter sang loudly, grinning as he did so.

"_I want her paler than the moon with eyes that shine like stars_," LeBeau began, singing in time with the beat of their march, "_My girl will marvel at my strength, adore my battle scars_!"

Newkirk laughed at that.

"_I couldn't care less what she'll wear or what she looks like_," Schultz joined in, his tone low-pitched but sincere, "_It all depends on what she cooks like: Beef, pork, chicken ...Mmmh ..._"

"_Bet the local girls thought you were quite the charmer_," LeBeau teased the big sergeant.

"_And I'll bet the ladies love a man in armor_,"Kinch sang in his low baritone voice, flexing his muscles.

"_You can guess what we have missed the most since we went off to war_," all the men joined in now, "_What do we want? A girl worth fighting for_!"

"_My girl will think I 'ave no faults_," Newkirk volunteered, with a rough but pleasant voice, "_That I'm a major find!"_

"_How 'bout a girl who's got a brain_," Carter piped in, "_Who always speaks her mind?_"

"_Nah!_" the others all yelled.

"_My manly ways and turn of phrase are sure to thrill 'er_," Newkirk continued, eyeing Carter with annoyance for interrupting him.

"_He thinks he's such a lady-killer_," LeBeau scoffed, raising an eyebrow at Newkirk, "_I've a girl back home who's unlike any other_."

"_Yeah, the only girl who'd love 'im is 'is mother_," Newkirk countered, smirking at the Frenchman.

LeBeau scowled for a moment, then smiled again as all the men sang again.

_"But when we come home in victory they'll line up at the door! What do we want? A girl worth fighting for!"_

" _Wish that I had,"_ Carter said wistfully.

"_A girl worth fighting for!"_

The men finished, holding the final note till they nearly fell down laughing, Schultz included.

"You boys!" Schultz scolded, "You will get me in trouble yet!"

"Aw Schultz there's no harm in it," Kinch replied, "Besides, I heard you joining in."

Schultz tried not to crack a smile.

"All right, fix the holes now, schnell, schnell!"

The men laughed again before setting to work with cheerful smiles.

Later, in the barracks, Colonel Hogan was reading a book in his office when he heard something that sounded suspiciously like singing. He jumped up from his bunk and opened the office door just in time to see the barracks door swing open and admit the work detail just as they finished the last note of their song.

"_A girl worth fighting for_!"

Hogan was surprised to see that it was his men who were singing, and smiling as well. They laughed as LeBeau put the kettle on while the rest collapsed on bunks or benches. He raised an eyebrow as they talked and joked, seemingly different men from the ones who had left a few hours ago.

"Well," he said, "I'll have to send you boys out on work detail more often. Apparently it vastly improves your mood."

"What can we say _mon Colonel_?" LeBeau answered as he passed out hot coffee, "Some people were just meant to sing!"

"So what was it that was bothering you guys?" Hogan asked as he accepted a mug.

All the men in the barracks exchanged glances.

"Nothing special Colonel," Newkirk said, "Guess we all just thought the same thing at the same time."

"That so hey?"

"Hey Colonel," asked Carter, "When does the dancing start tonight?"

The other men joined in in expressing their concerns about the types of dances, who would partner who and what music would be played. Hogan was nearly overwhelmed with the questions, but answered them as best he could. He couldn't get over this sudden change in demeanour. But he did conclude one thing: whatever they had been singing about, it must have been a pretty good song.


End file.
